THE END went something like this:

China launched missiles against the USA. While they were at it, they thought theymight as well send Taiwan some neutron bombs. The USA retaliated - the President getting to press THE BIG RED BUTTON (equipped in all Air Force Ones), and launched everything they had. Of course, the USA had its missiles pointed at quite a lot of countries. It takes time to punch in new coordinates, and, in a sneak attack, there is no time to adjust one’s sights.

So, Russia (for old times), China, Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Syria, North Korea, South Korea, India, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Khakistan, the Philippines, Mexico, Cuba, Venezuela, Georgia, Belarus, Spain, France and Canada were all targets. In retaliation, Russia attacked the USA, Germany, Britain, Afghanistan, Ukraine, Georgia and Chechnya; North Korea attacked South Korea and Japan. Japan followed suit, attacking China, North Korea, South Korea and Pearl Harbor. India attacked Pakistan. Pakistan, India. Israel attacked Iran, Jordan, Egypt, Lebanon and Syria, and finally reclaimed the West Bank. Germany attacked Hungary, Poland and France. France attacked Germany, the USA and Britain. Britain attacked Ireland. Ireland attacked Britain. Scotland sent a large mass of yobs to burn down Buckingham Palace. New Zealand annexed Australia. The Danes sent a polar expedition to claim the Canadian Arctic. And the Italians wanted to attack the Brazilians, but Brazil was too far away, so they marched right into Switzerland.