The Big Bad Wolf (Mr. Lupine)

The phone rings. James picks it up. JAMES

Yep.

VOICE

Jameess. 

JAMES

(disturbed)

Yes?

VOICE

Good. Do you know who this is?

JAMES

The Big Bad Wolf?

The side of a wolves mouth with sharp pointy teeth.

THE BIG BAD WOLF

That’s right James, it's the big bad wolf and you owe me money, Listen to me. Listen to me James. Are you listening to me? 

JAMES

I’m listening.

THE BIG BAD WOLF

I’m going to fuck you up James if you don’t pay me what you owe me. I’m going to kick your teeth in and chew your lips off. Do you hear me? Are you listening. Keep listening James. 

James say’s nothing, clearly perturbed.

THE BIG BAD WOLF (CONT’D)

I’m going to tear off your limbs James. One by one, gobble them right up while you watch. And very slowly. I’ll eat you alive. Do you like that idea?

JAMES

No.

THE BIG BAD WOLF

You don’t? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter James, because you’re fucked. Keep listening James. It gets worse. If you hang up James, I’ll take your wife and child... James? Are you still there?

JAMES

(voice wavering)

Y-es.

THE BIG BAD WOLF

Good. It would be bad if you hung up. Very, very bad. That’s right James, I’ll take them and I’ll do horrible, dreadful, despicable things to them, that you couldn’t even imagine if I told you. James, do you hear me? Oh, James, if you tell anyone about this phone call James, I’ll take them, and you’ll never, ever get them back. I’ll eat your wife for dinner and then I’ll come back and have your little child for desert. Just a bit at a time you see. I can live off them for a whole year. I’ll keep the meat in the freezer in neat little packages. For summer barbeques and winter stews. You know how succulent meat becomes after you simmer it for a very long time. Well, it comes right off the bone and you can tear it apart with just a fork. Think of that. A nice stew with carrots and potatoes and parsnips and the ribs of your dead wife. Mmmmmmm. (lips smack) That’s right James. You think about that. You think about that in your bad dreams. You better think about that while you find me my money. I have to go James, I have business to attend to. Phone calls to make. I’m glad we had this little chat. I hope you don’t tell anyone James. I’ll call you back later and I’ll tell you some more. Byeeeeeeeee. 

(hangs up)

James puts down the receiver.

Marie enters the room.

MARIE

Who was that you were talking to?

JAMES

Collection agent.